Have you ever danced to every dance no matter how tired you are because all the songs they play are so good? Or, when you go into a bookstore and are faced with many good selections— you want to buy them all. Maybe before the explosion of the World Wide Web era, we could have done “all the things,” or at least most things. But today, there are so many things! Several good, positive things. The world is our oyster, right? But it can get overwhelming to even think of being a part of them all.
I wish I could split myself like an atom and be in many places at once! I want to attend every grandarlin’s event, performance, and achievement. I want to be my husband’s right arm, supporting him in every endeavor. I want to volunteer with my sons and be involved in what brings them joy, meaning, and fulfillment. I wish all my sisters lived in the same area to make it easier to have the close relationship we always have had.
I want to visit my nieces and nephew and be relevant to their children. I want them to know their fun, Aunt Jenny.
I also love how many friends I have had in the past and the new ones I have met. I want a lunch date with them all. I want time to meet over coffee and share our hearts and laughter.
These things are the relationship part of life that is important to me. It’s always been there, and we learn to make time for the special people in our lives, but as we get older, our circle keeps growing, and some drift away from the inner circle. We have to make choices and realize we can’t possibly do all that we would like to do, no matter how thin we try to spread ourselves.
Then there are all the things we want to do before the last hurrah. How many years do we have left? None of us know, but those of us over 50 realize it isn’t long, so we fetch the bucket. You know… the one with the list. A bucket list in our 30s and 40s consists perhaps of the fun things we hope to do one day. When you are over 50, you realize you may have a 20-30 year window to leave your mark, create a legacy, or repair a relationship. You watch the hourglass. Each grain of sand means something to you.
At this stage in my life, I am not trying to climb the corporate ladder. I didn’t become the detective, law enforcement officer, or nurse I once wanted. I didn’t become a singer or actress. I haven’t published 100s of books. But throughout my life, I have been all of these things —if I had my eyes opened.
The detective in me solved the mystery of how many licks it takes to finish a lollipop and solved the case of “who threw away the half-eaten can of ravioli,” and I figured out the answer to “what were you thinking?” I’ve helped others to uphold the law, “Stealing is a no-no,” “Do the right thing,” and “You’re driving too fast.” The nurse in me kissed boo-boos, cleaned up vomit, and took out stitches. I sang in many churches, events in town, and weddings. Acting? I pretended that I didn’t want the last piece of chocolate… I marveled at a loved one’s accomplishment for something I had done many times myself, and …I pretended that I didn’t want help, “no, really, it’s fine, I’ve got it.”
Beginning my dream of writing— the one I had as a small child, became a reality over 15 years ago. I don’t seek fame or fortune; I just want to reach people with what the Lord taught me. Helping others through the wilderness. Encouraging them as they go through their exile.
What spurred these musings is having been invited to join “all the things” on social media. Good things. This writer’s group, that leadership blog, those podcasts of dear friends, and even church happenings going on consistently. I’d be on my phone or computer all day before even attempting the daily things I am responsible for at home. I just can’t do “all the things.”
But I am. I am doing all the things I am supposed to be doing. I am a wife who loves and encourages her husband and makes sure he has clothes to wear to work and a meal in his tummy. I am a caregiver to my mother-in-law, who lives with us. I take care of our animals. I do my best to reach out to my sons, daughter-in-law, grandarlins, and other family members. I do my best to give from my heart, to encourage friends – and even strangers. And my day job, the meetings, writing, researching, and marketing sometimes take me into the night or on weekends. There are classes to take, seminars to attend, book signings, and travel. We ALL have a juggling act to perform. The key is to know which things to keep in rhythm and which to let go of or pick up later.
What is God asking of us? We might think having a rhythm keeps us from dropping a ball, but sometimes it is when we drop a ball that we see what God is doing away from that systematic rhythm we create for ourselves. What if we are juggling the wrong balls? What if “all the things” aren’t what it’s about anyway? Are our eyes open? Do we see the simple things around us that God wants us to be a part of?
Instead of being overwhelmed to do “all the things,” let’s focus on what things God is asking from us. Not what a boss, neighbor, board member, or even family member is asking. We aren’t supposed to do “all the things” no matter how much we or others think we should. When we drop a ball… someone else will eventually pick it up, which may be God’s plan. It might hurt our pride not to be all things to all people all the time… but isn’t that our Savior’s job?