It seems I have been writing a good deal on my website and Facebook Page about change lately. As I travel this author journey, I have found myself not only at crossroads in which decisions will be made, but when I peer outward, there is a much-uncovered territory, and it is exciting. My writer’s voice has gone through recent changes, but now I notice ongoing changes in my vision.
When I drive, sometimes I see the road clearly, and at times I embark on a curve in which I don’t have a complete vision of what is ahead. What do we do when that happens? I can’t say this about my husband’s driving, but I tend to slow down while taking a curve. Our granddaughter once pointed out to him, “Granddaddy, if you have to say, ‘hang on’ when you are turning, you aren’t a good driver.” We still laugh at this memory.
When I birdwatch, my binoculars focus on a bird on the feeding platform, and I can see it clearly. Yet, when it flies upward into the tree, the bird is blurred until I turn the focus wheel. At first, I was clumsy until I had more practice with my binos. Learning anything new takes practice.
The more we do something, the quicker we can focus and see things with a clearer view. But while we come to a curve in the road or the object in which we are focusing on moves further away, we don’t have to be in a hurry or fear what is ahead. We take our time.
In August of 2021, I completed writing my manuscript, and in December, I finished editing and formatting and heard back from a few brave alpha readers. I thought the next step was simply to get my manuscript into the hands of an agent and publisher (though one does not do this simply).
My goal was to have my book published in 2022; therefore, I took the curve like my husband – a little too fast. When friends asked me if I had finally finished my book, I wanted to get it into their hands as soon as possible, but, that isn’t how I need to take this curve.
When I realized my speed was too fast to take the curve, my initial reaction was to hit the brakes! Hitting the brakes would cause me to fishtail and have my car leave the road. I’ve come too far in my faith not to hear the Holy Spirit’s whisper. “Slow down,” He says, “Observe the scenery, take in everything I have for you.”
In the boondocks where we live, our road has a significant bend between our house and our ranch. When I go to feed my horse in the morning, I am careful around that curve no matter how many times I’ve driven it; because of what could be.
There could be a farmer on massive equipment taking up a little more of the road, or there could be a deer crossing over to the next field. I have found myself looking left and right and far around the bend as I slowly drive in hopes of seeing a deer or other wildlife. I’ve learned to look expectantly for the Father’s gifts.
Instead of stopping, or worse – backing up or turning around and not taking the curve out of fear of the unknown; I observe what is around me. The first agent I meet may not be the one who takes me to my destination. And, it’s not about the destination – it is always about the journey.
When I wrote the last chapters of my manuscript, I had four books about publishing on my to-be-read pile, and I skimmed through them. My finger floated down the lists of agents and publishers, and I penned asterisks by a few of the names. It didn’t feel authentic – it seemed so far away as the little bird up in the tree, a sense of overwhelming flooded my being. Surely, once my manuscript was complete, it would feel differently – it did, and it didn’t.
I felt I was so close I could taste it, yet I could not see around the bend. I could not see the little bird up in the tree. When writing the first book I would publish, my vision was full of clarity and how I saw it from sitting in my driveway. Once I was put the gear in “D,” things started to get a little blurred. I was no longer familiar with the road. Fog set in so dense I wasn’t even sure if I was at a fork-in-the-road or a sharp bend.
Slowing down helps to take what I can see and focus on a little at a time – not talking to one agent, but several. Meeting new people. Not just meeting people to help me in my journey but learning what God might have me bring to theirs.
Last night, I picked up those publishing books and reread them with different eyes. I turned the wheel of my binoculars. I realize that I have FIRST TIME AUTHOR stamped on my forehead, and my publishing experience will be different than my friends who seem to be spitting out several books as if they were standing at a conveyer belt.
And rereading the information, I noticed I understood more of what I read than when I had first completed my manuscript. It may be going slowly, but I am learning to turn the focus wheel without losing sight of the bird that flew a little higher into the tree. Things will become more apparent the more I take in everything around me.
My website theme no longer served me as a soon-to-be author. My writer’s page on Facebook was not much different than my personal Facebook – I had not focused on a target audience, nor have I been consistent with posting. No wonder it was difficult getting followers. Thanks to my son’s advice – a wiz with marketing, media, and social media, I will drive slowly around this curve and work on these things while God puts those in my path who will take me around the bend and beyond.