“We have nothing to fear but fear itself,” Roosevelt said. Growing up, I disagreed with that statement because I could think of many things I feared. Monsters, the boogeyman, and a stray dog who might bite, to name a few.
As I got older, I learned that any fear I had was, in fact, made worse by worrying, and I understood the phrase about fearing fear. But two of my main worries couldn’t be ignored – the fear of abandonment and being lost.
It seemed I had conquered fear over anything else in my life – I was no longer afraid of monsters or getting bitten, but the thought of people leaving me or the thought of not being able to find my way home nearly paralyzed me. To not be abandoned, I became a people-pleaser. That behavior didn’t take away my fear; I think it made me live more in fear.
I also had no sense of direction, and not knowing how to get back home kept me from venturing out to explore or live life fully. I was held back by my fear. When the GPS devices came out – I must admit, that is when I felt freedom from that fear. I was no longer afraid of being lost. I had experienced enough abandonment in my life, no matter how much I tried to please others, that I learned it had nothing to do with how good I tried to be to someone.
We live in a fallen world – there will be monsters in our lives and dogs who bite. People will leave our lives, and I have found that getting lost isn’t the worst thing in the world.
I saw a counselor to help with my anxiety in the early stages of my adulthood. One day, I went through the list of my fears – things beyond my control. The counselor took me through “what if” scenarios to show me fear as a believer was unmerited.
“So what if your husband leaves?”
“Well, my kids and I would be alone.”
“What if you and your kids were alone?”
“Then we couldn’t make it on our own….”
“And what if you couldn’t make it on your own?”
“Then we would have to live on welfare….” At this point, I was getting frustrated with his game.
“So what if you and your kids are on welfare?” “I don’t want that for them!”
The counselor started naming several options people would have to help themselves out of those situations – even if they still had to go through them. It seemed he always had an answer for any excuse or fear. So I went along with his game, but now in retaliation.
“Then, I’d probably rob a bank….”
“And if you robbed a bank?”
Rolling my eyes, “Then… knowing me, I’d get caught and go to jail.”
“And if you went to jail?”
Thinking I had the final answer to end this game, I said in a huff, “Then I would stay there until I died.”
“And if you died?”
Ahh… we finally got to the end, but I also saw his point. I said sheepishly, “I would go to Heaven.” The counselor smiled. It seemed that there was always an answer for whatever scenario I painted, whatever excuse I had for being afraid and living with the fear of what could happen. The bottom line of our fears would be the result of our death. But if we who are believers die, it is GAIN.
Philippians 1:21 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
So, in all reality – we have NOTHING to fear. The Bible emphasizes this truth over and over – “do not fear.” The ultimate fear is dying, and for believers who will be with Jesus – that is a good thing. Why do we fear death?
Granted, we don’t want to hurry our death and live our lives without caution and wisdom. We are here for a purpose. Still, for all the things in our lives we cannot control, when circumstances make us lose our footing or force us to adapt to change – the bottom line in any scenario of all the what ifs is what if we die?
All of us are going to die – we know that. Do we trust our Father when He chooses to take us Home? Do we trust Him during all the what-ifs? Do we entrust our children to Him, our jobs, our homes? If we trust Him the way we say, there are no ifs or buts. We trust Him completely – or we don’t.
Fear keeps us from opportunities for growth or to make a difference for someone else. When I think of those fears I once had, I could have allowed them to cripple me and hold me back – I am so grateful for all the things I had gone through and the anxiety I once had, which led me to a wise counselor who made me think for myself and not to be afraid to live boldly as a Christian.
What fears hold you back? WHAT IF what you feared happened? And then, WHAT IF the next thing happened, and the next? Do we give in and give up, or do we live the abundant life promised when we FULLY TRUST THE LORD? Lose the fear. Seek opportunity.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”