Yesterday, we talked about our emotions and healthy boundary setting. How many of us have avoided conflict by saying yes, but we were neglecting something in our own lives and needed to say no? Isn’t it healthier to behave kindly and tell someone when you need to say no than to give them the perception that you are okay with taking on another ball to juggle?
When we do this, we are lying to ourselves, prideful, and it becomes more about us than doing unto the Lord.
If someone is a go-getter and juggles many things at once, but I am not geared that way – it is okay to let someone know that. My forte might be one-on-one time with someone in a less chaotic situation. My brain may not thrive on chaos and busyness. My gifts might be monetary gifts over gifts of time, or instead of teaching a class, God may use me to teach others by writing a book.
We all have different gifts and different ways God uses us. I have four sisters, and though we have a close bond, we are very different. We avoid conflict and keep the peace more when we are upfront with each other than to appease.
Respect goes both ways. We must respect when someone tells us no or sets boundaries that are healthy for them even though our boundaries may differ. And others should respect us when we are assertive, but we all must check our hearts with God’s Word.
If we set boundaries for selfish reasons or avoid the Holy Spirit urging us to join where God is working, we are committing a sin of omission.
How often have I needed to ask forgiveness for what I had done and for things I had NOT done. In my Christian walk, I learned there are many more Do’s in the Bible than DON’T’s.
Search your heart. God is more interested in why you are doing something. Proverbs 16:2 says, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.” When we serve the Lord but don’t realize our hearts are set on what others think or seek praise for what we do, we aren’t truly “doing unto the Lord.” When we don’t say no when we might need to, because we want others to see us as dependable and giving, our pride is in the way where God may have planned to use someone else to bring a blessing.
What God does is ten-fold. It isn’t always about us. When I knew God was telling me not to do something, He might have been working in the heart of the person doing the asking, or He may have been working on another person preparing for the task. If we listen to God and have prayed about the situation, we don’t have to take everything on our shoulders. Jesus’s yoke is easy – His burden light. We are to let it go and keep doing what God is having us do, and in the direction, He is leading. And don’t feel guilty – He may only be using you to plant a seed –not always to see something to fruition.
Jesus didn’t come to condemn us – He came to save us. His blood covers us, and we are to live by spirit and truth – a matter of the heart. When my emotions seem to get the best of me, I ask myself the same thing God asks, “Where is your heart?”
Is my heart saying no when I should say yes? Is my heart saying yes when I should say no? What are my reasons for doing or not doing? I must be careful not to look at the surface of my heart – what others might see, but to look deeper at what God sees. He knows what is truly in our hearts; may we seek to walk in Spirit & Truth daily.